Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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