I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
