I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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