You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Green mimosas i think yes
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize