That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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