My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
