shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
