Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Randomize
