The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
