Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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