i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
