I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
