she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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