I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
