I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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