I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize