FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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