so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
