He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
