apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize