I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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