And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Hippo gnu deer
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
