just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
