i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
