my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
