Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
