i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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