i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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