There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
