ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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