Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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