I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
