oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I need a beard to bite.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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