plz talk dirty to me
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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