I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize