You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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