i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
