He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I enjoy the company of your penis
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
