he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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