sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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