Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
