My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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