just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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