this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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