Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
