does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
