that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize