he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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