just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
