Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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