I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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