If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
