i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
