I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
