i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
