New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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