i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize