Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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