i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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