let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
