The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Randomize
