Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Randomize