And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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