$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
