i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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