just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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