this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
