It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
