you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
