I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
